Many of us have memories of staying home sick from school because we had a horrible stomach ache. When you look back, twenty or even thirty years later, you may admit that you stayed home, not because you were actually sick, but because you were dreading a math test or maybe you were anxious about something that happened to you at school or about being bullied on the playground. As an adult, perhaps you still have those “blue” days when you just can’t seem to get out of bed to get to work. You get a horrible migraine when the alarm goes off and you simply must call in sick. Then, as you're laying in bed, and the day stretches out before you, your ailment is suddenly gone. If you are being honest with yourself, it’s very likely that you were dreading a meeting at work, or an encounter with a stressful co-worker. Or perhaps there was some sort of trauma that happened to you that you are working through. A connection between our mind and body is not some New Age idea, but a reality. Did you ever notice how after pulling all nighters during your finals, or after a tough period of time at work, all of a sudden you get sick? Many medical studies have linked emotional or psychological stress as causing medical problems, including cancer. Our mind, body and emotions are all intertwined. When we feel physically sick, it is more difficult to have emotional energy and clarity. When we feel anxious, depressed, or stressed, our body is often affected and makes it difficult to do physical activities; we then often get sick. It’s common that people who have been abused, or experienced some type of trauma, or have been diagnosed as having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), seek therapy to address their emotional pain. Often times, these people participate in therapy where they are primarily talking about their abuse or trauma with their therapist. While talk therapy and talking about trauma works for many people, there are also other forms of therapy that is not so traditional, that one can incorporate into their lives to address the trauma holistically. When someone experiences a trauma, it is not only a trauma to their mind, but a trauma to their body. Their palms sweat, their brain chemistry changes, and they go into a fight or flight mode. Thus, it should be no surprise that sometimes our body locks away stress and pain and emotion; sometimes this does not release with purely talk therapy. I encourage you to talk with your therapist about encorporating additional therapies inside and outside the therapist office in order to address your mind and body. Below are a few ways that some people incorporate a mind-body approach to healing from trauma and abuse. Yoga Meditation Massage Therapy EMDR Therapy Somatic Experiencing Therapy *Please keep in mind that this blog is written for the average person, hence the lack of notations and big words! That said, this post is not meant to offer clinical or medical advice, but rather is food for thought. You can take these ideas to discuss with your licensed therapist and talk about ways of incorporating them into your therapeutic plan.
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Did you know that since September 11, 2001, over 2.3 million men and women have served in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? Our country has not only lost 6,308 service members, but many of our soldiers have returned with injuries, including those wounds that we can't see. “According to a RAND report released in April 2008, over 18 percent of troops who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan--nearly 300,000 troops--have symptoms of post-traumatic stress or major depression. At the same time, about 19 percent of service members reported that they experienced a possible traumatic brain injury. And let us not forget: millions of Americans belong to the families of these servicemen and servicewomen. Spouses, children, parents, siblings, and unmarried partners of military personnel are all being adversely affected by the stress and strain of the current military campaign. Unfortunately, the tremendous number of people affected makes it impossible for the military to respond adequately to the mental health needs in its greater community. For example, according to the RAND study, only 43 percent of troops reported ever being evaluated by a physician for their head injuries. Moreover, returning combat veterans suffering from depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are not routinely seeking the mental health treatment they need. RAND also reports that only 53 percent of service members with PTSD or depression sought help over the past year.” (Direct Quote from Give an Hour) There are many reasons why returning troops don’t seek treatment. One reason is that some fear the stigma associated with seeking mental health treatment. Military personnel may be concerned that seeking mental health support will affect their career, or their social standing. Some are also worried about exposing their vulnerabilities to mental health providers who may be in the military themselves. Yet another reason is that some returning troops would rather do therapy via the phone instead of coming into a traditional therapist’s office. Luckily, there are more and more services in the community that are available for troops should they need an alternative to traditional treatment offered by the military. These services are also available for family members of the troops who are not entitled to receive mental health benefits through the military. One such program is the Give an Hour nonprofit. This program connects mental health professionals to military personnel and their families. It is an opportunity for mental health professionals to give back to the community, (i.e. FREE therapy to military personnel and their families). If you know of someone who is in need of therapy and fits these criteria, send them to the Give an Hour website. Is any Grief, “Good” Grief? Unfortunately, loss is a part of life. There is nothing like the loss of a relationship or death of a loved one to test the fragility of our emotions and the resiliency of the human spirit. Perhaps you have recently ended a long relationship; maybe you had to put down your beloved family dog; or a close family member has passed away. Whether it is an actual loss of a life, or the end of a relationship, loss is a part of the human experience. In an age where there seems to be a quick fix for everything, grieving is a process that is neither simple nor easy. Everyone experiences grief in different ways, thus there is no magic pill or perfect words to make it go away. “People's grief, and other reactions to emotional trauma, are as individual as a fingerprint.” There is no one way to mourn. Nor is there one way to measure someone’s grief against another’s. You may laugh at the way someone cries for days over the loss of a family pet, or be shocked that a co-worker doesn’t take time off to attend a funeral of their family member. However, it is important to remember, that everyone has their own way of processing grief. Regardless of how someone experiences their emotions, there is generally a cycle that they will go through. Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross created a model of the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance), which is the most commonly referenced cycle. Please note that Kübler-Ross did not intend this to be a rigid series of sequential steps. It’s more of a framework to guide you through stages. Not everyone will experience all five stages, and you may often revisit a stage. This is a visual to assist you grasp the feelings that you, or someone you know may be going through after a loss. Now What?
Now that you understand grief, what is the answer to the burning question: is there any “good” grief? Yes, grieving is good! It is important to allow yourself to feel sadness and pain when a loved one passes away, or you end a relationship. However, if your grieving affects your ability to take care of your daily needs, (sleeping, eating, getting out of bed to go to work, talking with family and friends), then you should seek support. If you start to rely on non prescribed medications or alcohol to sleep or get through the day, then it is likely that you may be “stuck” in the process. Luckily, there are many ways to get through this hard time. Whether it is formally talking to someone, like a therapist or your doctor, or informally, talking with family or friends, it is important to gain support to live the best life that you can. |
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